The Panera Experience

So I decided to have a meal of food. And it was a comical experience. I wasn’t going to break a 5 day fast for something fatty, or unhealthy, or loaded with carbs.

So there I was at Panera! I walk in to the most wonderful smells you could imagine. A woman exiting, smiled at me, and with a wonderfully excited voice said “I love your hat”! (it’s a Cardinals hat…always) I replied “Thanks! But it’s not for sale.” She giggled, and I knew I made the right choice in coming here.

I stepped up to the counter and was greeted by 3 smiling ladies. “Can I help you?”
I replied “perhaps. Do you have anything absolutely ridiculously healthy”?
2 replied “no” and “nope”
The third said “yesss, but”…
My eyebrows went up with intrigue
“It’s on our special menu”
The other 2 servers looked as intrigued as I was. She pulled a white laminated paper from behind the register. There were no pictures, graphics, nor a title!

I examined the paper looking for something called Absolutely Ridiculously Healthy. I was informed there was a kind of a steak wrap with herbs, and stuff. My eyes got very large at the prospect of healthy steak. I didn’t even look at the paper anymore.
“I want it. I neeed IT…please”.
Giggles
“Here’s your super secret special menu back”.
More giggles. Then…
“I don’t know how to ring that up”. She looked at me. “Well I don’t know how either! Just type absolutely ridiculously healthy steak wrap”. We were all laughing by now. As were some bystanders. They figured it out and rang it up.

As I moved down to the waiting area, I glanced over to find the cashiers reading the super secret menu and pointing at stuff on it. The next customer ordered the same thing calling it “absolutely super healthy steak wrap” (I cringed)(how dare you screw up the name)
After some time, I got my food and was excited since I really didn’t have any idea what I was getting.
As he handed me the bag, the guy gave me instructions. ..”you put all the stuff on the romaine leaves and wrap it up like a torltilla. I’ve never needed instructions on eating food, but okay.

As I was leaving, I smiled and waved at my cashier friends. They waved and yelled “come back again”! Then the next customer approached them asking “hey, what’s in that steak wrap”?

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